The Glengarry Glen Ross Minute

Two guys chew over their favorite Mamet movie - one minute at a time.

Minute 37: HEY, HEY, HEY… It’s Fat Capitano Coming Your Way

September 13th, 2017

The impending Roma scene is like Christmas to Matt, which makes this minute nothing more than a sad, old man in a phone booth. Bill is perpetually a first day of school kid.  The Lemmon wetters get foiled this week. Matt and Bill both seem to love "as seen on TV" products. What is it that Mrs. Nyborg is out doing by herself so late at night? The boys discuss video game movies and their general ineffectiveness. Bill poignantly points out Shelly's tragic flaw. One shouldn't pretend to be in an office when calling from a highway. Dr. Encryption shows up to explain how spy stuff works. Nobody in NY has ever said "I'm going to Wisconsin." Bill brings a questionable game to the table and ushers the Fat Albert gang into the fold. Matt thinks Bill is turning into an old Mudfoot. 

00:0000:00

Minute 36: Huh

September 6th, 2017

The sound of sweet oblivion opens up the episode and leads to Southern Gentleman speak and a shout out to Jerry Lewis. Matt thinks this minute is all about predator versus prey. Moss gets himself all worked up about stealing the leads, but George can only muster confusion. Bill pot-shames Rasheed Wallace. Alan Arkin offers up another great lesson in acting with one's chin while Ed Harris shows us Moss' soft-ish side. What did Jerry Graff say to make Moss concoct the heist? Bill shares the list of things someone should do to Mitch and Murray, if he were that kind of guy. Matt takes James Foley to task for some shoddy blocking and breaks out the "Bowl Rant." For some reason, Adrian Zmed keeps being discussed on this podcast. A new jingle is introduced and the fellas wonder if a Hanks can be done. 

00:0000:00

Minute 35: The Golden Gruntle

August 30th, 2017

Bill starts the episode with a bit trivia no one wanted and damn near gets Matt's Italian-American card revoked. Roma man, Roma man, he don't care. This sentence can also be applied to other things that "don't care." What if George was saying "sails, sails?" In a new show-high, or maybe low, it's getting harder to tell, the boys cast GGGR with Muppets!? Our heroes take us on a bit of a detour through dead basketball players. Salman Rushdie gets a shout. Matt stresses "Don't do things that make you happy, be happy." Rows and roads can both be tough to hoe. Bill displays his only super power and yet again, high-roads Matt while being as wrong as one man can be. The boys unpack Moss' Nazi reference and in doing so, clumsily cover the holocaust from Anne Frank to Dave Moss. The boys talk about classism and confidence and how one must figuratively keep the rice bowl out of the stream of urine. Bill points out that Moss' plan has him out of the frying pan and into a slightly better frying pan.  Despite having only each other to turn to, the fellas are pretty damn gruntled. 

00:0000:00

Minute 34: Dickies, Doduts and Jack Lemonade

August 23rd, 2017

This week's show is piping hot and fresh off the presses. Matt can live without an eclipse. Bill loves a good segue. Matt shouts out "The Truth" and very much wants to cast Lee Majors. We all figuratively get banished from the Spannel household in this minute, but not before the fellas, at long last, break down dickies. Larry just can't shake the machine, despite his best efforts. Premier Properties is in the process of converting all their analog files to digital. Barkeep, I'll have a Jack Lemonade as long as the bar is dark and sad. Bill is back on the Big Baby. More misogyny, man. MYHGA! Also, for your enjoyment, more jingle conflict. The fellas talk about all things bionic man and woman. Bill milks moments like a dairy farmer and Matt has ceased asking for his tea. 

00:0000:00

Minute 33: Lemmon Wetters Become Hair Setters

August 16th, 2017

Get on board or GTFO! Matt is thrilled to dedicate this episode to his favorite basketball player. Speculation about the furnishings in Larry Spanell’s home leads, somehow, to the fellas ruminating over the film “Boss Baby” and the size of the Spanell family’s baby. Matt tries to teach Bill proper Instagram etiquette. Things get a little uncomfortable on Shelly’s sit despite his best efforts. Bruce Altman’s hair and basketball trash-talking prowess are nonpareil. The elephant in the room changes the tenor of the scene, but Shelly has to deny it. The turtleneck rears its… neck again. Do babies know what a telephone is anymore? Dave Moss would never buy anyone a drink unless he wants him to do something for him. Lamps and lampshades are discussed at length for some reason. A debate rages over whether Ray Liotta is an icon or just another guy.

00:0000:00

Minute 32: The Turtleneck that Just Won’t Quit

August 9th, 2017

Spannel_Door.jpg

Why does Bill have seemingly zero confidence? 'Cause apparently he doesn't really know what confidence is. The fellas discuss two of the oddest looking white guys to ever lace up the high-tops. Finally, we arrive at the house of Altman. Lemon is wet and ready to get-down. The fellas break down the questionable "decor" of the Spannel living room right down to the Navaho loveseat. Shelly wastes no time at all in throwing Larry's fishing rod into the corner like it owes him money. The fellas imagine a world where the sales force is nothing but honest on a sit. Bill is proud of the podcast; it's just kinda hard to tell. Apologies to anyone who chooses to go by the name Lawrence. Bruce Altman has, hands down, the best hair in the film. Matt sets Bill straight on the whole boxer-brief situation, which is staggeringly late in the game. Matt, as usual, confuses his Burts. And then, more underwear stuff, cause, you know, Mamet.

00:0000:00

Minute 31: Heads is Roma, Tails is Moss

August 2nd, 2017

So... Matt has tasted his own urine. Bill seems to no longer be interested in playing the casting game. Matt thinks Bill appears squirrelly and untrustworthy. Aaranow is especially wound up this minute. After the fellas dip their toes back in the racism pool, they look to cast Carol O'Conner and Sidney Poitier. If you need to know how this epidode is going, all you need to know is "Heads is Roma, Tails is Moss." Bill's hetero-normative take on Adam and Eve is awkward at best. Nippsy Russel works blue thanks to Blake. Aaranow seems to feel that a man can shake in most any kind of footwear. Matt makes mention of Bill's senility and that sets the fellas off on some political nonsense about flags and other horseshit.  An impromptu quote corner for your ears this week that turns out to be the worst quote corner we've ever done (thanks Bill). Matt cleans up Bill's garbage... again. Dicky Van Dyke gets some juice this week. Matt gets his Bible stories all confused but remains juicy. Next stop the house of Altman.

00:0000:00

Minute 30: Hamper-Shame, Doughnut-Shame, and Racism

July 26th, 2017

Bill starts us off this week by ONCE AGAIN, feigning interest but this time he does it with a thumb up his ass. Car purchases aside, Matt considers himself more of a lesbian-lady than a straight man. Bill proves to be an even bigger Aaranow than first estimated. Matt takes Steph Curry to the mat unnecessarily. Bill despises Matt's new opening, jersey-number, segment. "We work too hard," said everyone who ever had a job. The boys wanna set Glengarry in Philly just for the regional dialect. If Moss don't wanna take the leads, why's he take 'em? Matt once Ouija'ed in a church. Bill never knew about the "Three Men and a Baby" creepy kid. Moss isn't a pleasantries kinda guy. First they talk about doughnut orders then Matt's hummus recipe, then ALL the racism. The boys wonder whether George agrees with Dave, or if he's just Aaranowing. Bill brings in a dandy quote for the quote-corner. Bill gets treated to a 48 hour test-drive. Doctors, lawyers, mechanics would have been a good way to go. The fellas talk about how pressure affects performance and the breakdown the arc of Pacino's career (AGAIN!?!) Bill wants the doughnut order put under the microscope. Our hosts try their best to wrap their heads around the caloric intake and nutritional value of Moss' doughnut order.  

00:0000:00

Minute 29: I’ll Have Lunch, Before I’m Back From Lunch or No One Wants to Be the Lemon Wetter

July 19th, 2017

To start Episode 29, we learn that Bill was not sure about following thru on the entirety of the film. Social media handles get some discussion this week. Sure Pervis was never nervous, but maybe not for the reasons you'd imagine. We're still in the car and 2 minutes in the Buick "middle manager" feels like a goddamned eternity. Shelly ain't got money in his wallet or anywhere else. The fellas wonder what exactly is in Shellys wallet? Shelly employs the last bastion of the outmoded guy. Bill will have lunch, before he's back from lunch. Mamet goes to lunch often in his scripts. Kostner was... fiery??? The answer is yes, so the fellas cast him. No one cares that Shelly bought his boss a trip to Bermuda 20 years ago. Williamson damn near brings Shelly to tears. Bill swears he's better than SOME people. Matt is NOT going into that back office if Charles Oakley is back there waitin on him? Maybe it's been Williamson holding Shelly back this whole time. Ray Ray Liotta gets some love from he boys. Matt is opting out of Bill's "buncha amateur Rich Littles" direction for the VO table read. The boys imagine being the "Lemon wetter" for all these rain scenes and they decide no one wants to be a Lemon wetter. The fellas clumsily fade into a "Regarding Henry" discussion on they're way out this week, and frankly, even in the moment they do seem contrite about it, so cut em some slack, eh?

00:0000:00

Minute 28: Adjacent to a Cuddle

July 12th, 2017

The fellas aim to create a master villain called Barbosa. Bill is a giant sieve with diminishing capabilities. Shelly is invigorated in this minute. The fellas opine on How does one spell stuff that dumb white guys pronounce incorrekly? Which of the salesmen matriculated in higher education? What did Shelly go through to get his nickname “The Machine?” Which of the salesman was a college burnout? Bill has no idea how to refer to drug usage or mid-century monetary denominations. Mamet steals from himself but has a melody to his poetry. Williamson’s face is the most punch-able, smug thing ever. Matt explains the evolution of ATM thieves. Which “Hogan’s Heroes” actor will the fellas cast this week? “American Buffalo” comes up yet again. Which of the salesmen is the cuddliest? And why the hell are we talking about THAT?

00:0000:00